Setting New Goals

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I'm doing really good maintaining my weight!  Too bad I'm not at goal and NEED to maintain.  I think the many years of yo-yo dieting has caught up with me and my metabolism is shot.  Eating less isn't enough anymore to get the scale to move downward.   I'm up to ten minutes on the stationary bike!  My goal is to ride for twenty minutes by the end of the month.

The scale might not be moving the way I want it to, but I've made progress since deciding to get healthy.  I had three goals to start with and I've accomplished all three!
     The first goal was to eat breakfast every morning.  I can't even imagine NOT having breakfast now.  It makes such a difference in how I feel and how I approach food the rest of the day.
     The second goal was to drink more water and less diet Coke.  I'm happy to say I drink lots more water now.  I still occasionally have a diet Coke but at least it's not the only beverage I drink throughout the day.
     The third goal was to cut  back on sweets.  No one is more surprised than I am at how much I have cut back.  I had to have something sweet every single day.  This didn't affect just my weight but my blood sugar also.  The sweets were killing me, literally.  I still allow myself a treat every week, but just one serving.  There was the binge a couple of weeks ago, but I was able to gain control much sooner than in the past.  This is progress!

So it's time to set and achieve new goals.  Here they are.
     1.  Ride the stationary bike for 20 minutes by the end of April
     2.  Give up foods containing artificial sweeteners
     3.  Keep a food diary.  I keep saying I'm going to do this but I haven't started.  It will help me see what I eat, when I eat, and how it affects my blood sugar.

Have you set or reached goals for your health?  

Have a great weekend!!

xo Annette xo

Friday Follow Up

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I've been really frustrated the last couple of weeks.  It seems like no matter how well I stick to my plan I can't loose anything.  I've been riding the exercise bike, but I know it's not helping right now.  At eight minutes a day I'm burning a whole thirty five calories!  I'm okay with that though.  My body is getting used to moving again and that's a good thing.

Last weekend my son was visiting from Denver and it was so wonderful to have the whole family together again.  Of course there was good food and I overindulged.  A lot.  I finally got back on track yesterday.  I surprised myself by not beating myself up for the binge.  I think that's a first!

It's a new week and I feel relieved to be back on track.  One thing I realized is that I really didn't feel so good after eating the fatty and sugary foods.  I was sluggish and lethargic and was in a brain fog.  I didn't like feeling that way after feeling good the last few weeks.  So I learned something and hopefully will remember the lesson the next time I think I want to overindulge.

Do you or have you ever binged on food?   How did it make you feel?

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

xo Annette xo

The Dreaded "E" Word

I've been thinking about it and saying I'm going to do it, so it's time to start.  Exercise.  To me it has the same negative implications as the "d" word.  Diet.  Both words represent failure, lack of discipline, and they are both temporary.  I realize you may not think so, but this is from my experience.

I know exercise is necessary for good health.  At different times in my life I have enjoyed the benefits of walking and riding both a bicycle and stationary bike.  I'm not a fan of the gym, swimming, running, high impact aerobics, or any sports related activities.  To be quite honest, when you're carrying around an extra hundred plus pounds, you really don't have the energy to get up and move unless it's necessary.  But I know I have to do it.  Both for stabilizing my blood sugar level and losing weight.

This is my stationary bike.  We bought it last year to help with the recovery from my knee surgery.  I rode it faithfully, but gradually stopped after I was done with physical therapy.  It was sitting in the family room and I rarely went in there.  So we moved it to where I sit directly across from it and have no excuse to not get on it.  It's going to be a long slow process to work up to a really good workout.  So far I can only manage five  minutes a day.  I know that's better than nothing.

How do you feel about exercise?

xo Annette xo

Friday Follow Up

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I had a great week.  I was making good choices and passing up things like chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, and orange scones.  So when I weighed in and gained over a pound, I was shocked.  I so didn't expect that.  I've been going over the week and I cannot figure out where I went wrong.  If I had stayed the same, I would be less discouraged than I am now.  

I thought about drowning my discouragement in a couple of chocolate frosted donuts, but that would require putting on make-up and leaving the house.  I wasn't up to that, so as I ate my apple and vanilla yogurt, I came to the conclusion that now is the time to add exercise.  Heavy sigh.  

We decided to go out to dinner and I still wanted to drown my sorrows in something bad.  A cheeseburger and fries was really appealing.  As much as I wanted that, I knew that it wasn't only bad for me but it would send my blood sugar through the roof.  We ended up deciding on seafood.  I had hushpuppies, lightly breaded rockfish and a salad.  Still not the best for me but certainly not the worst.  And I came home feeling good that I compromised and didn't give in to a binge.

I will continue this new week making healthy choices, adding exercise and see what happens.

Have a great weekend!

xo Annette xo

My Struggle With Type 2 Diabetes

Just over fifteen years ago I found out I had type 2 diabetes.  It was quite a shock but also a relief to know what was wrong with me.  I had many of the classic symptoms which included increased thirst, frequent urination, extreme fatigue, unexplained weight loss, and constant headaches.  My blood sugar was over 500.  A normal blood sugar level first thing in the morning for someone without diabetes is less than 100.

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The first few months were overwhelming and very frustrating.  Right away I had to start pricking my finger several times a day to check my blood sugar.  I had to see a dietician and completely change the way I ate.  The search was on for the right medication and the right dose that I could tolerate without too many side effects.  Doctor appointments and blood tests happened (and still do) every three months.

I've never been a good diabetes patient.  I will go for a few months being very good with my diet and checking my blood sugar, and then go for a few months eating whatever I want and not sticking my finger every day.  I would cancel doctor appointments so I wouldn't have to face the truth of what my neglect was doing.  And if I'm really honest, I was ashamed and embarrassed.  Unfortunately, after years of this kind of behavior, it has led to being on insulin and the beginnings of diabetes complications.

Every three months I have the A1c blood test.  It shows the average blood sugar over a twelve week period.  Knowing this information helps the doctor know how well the medication, diet, and blood sugar monitoring are doing and if adjustments need to be made.  The highest my A1c has been is 10.2.  My last test at the beginning of February was 8.0.  This was very good news because it came down.  However, my doctor wants it to come down to between  6 and 7.  That is the target for good glucose control.  I know I can get there with continued hard work.  The next test will be in May.

In this struggle to health and wellness, I have to lose weight, but I also have to bring my blood sugar down to a normal level and keep it there.  That means eating for this disease first.  Of course, I will lose weight along the way, but it is a difficult and often very frustrating balance.  I'll be sharing much more of life with diabetes as the days go by.  

Friday Follow Up~Continuing Progress

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I've lost seven pounds so far! WooHoo!!!  It was mostly a good week.  There was one night that I became very frustrated and my first thought was to eat.  My bank statement didn't show two deposits and I panicked when I couldn't find the deposit receipts to take to the bank the next day.  I was so stressed about it and Michael suggested we get out of the house and go to dinner to get away from the computer for a little while.  So I was thinking of all my favorite places where I could get the best not good for me appetizer, entree and dessert.  Cheese fries, southwest egg rolls, crab dip, red velvet cupcake, chocolate coca cola cake, and my mind was going crazy trying to decide where to go.  But in the end, I settled on fried pickles, a grilled salmon salad and no dessert.  Maybe not the healthiest choice but not as bad as I wanted to be!  I felt really good that I didn't bury my frustration in something a lot worse.

One of the things I had been putting off and finally did was take my measurements.  I really didn't want to know what they were, but I knew that when I reach my goal I would want to know how many inches I lost.  It was as bad as I thought it would be, but I decided not to dwell on it.  It is what it is and I'm working to make it better.  That's all I can do.

How was your week?

Have a wonderful weekend!

xo Annette xo

Friday Follow Up~Making Progress

In the past, when I wanted to lose weight, I joined Weight Watchers.  It's a great plan and I lost weight every time I joined.  I truly enjoyed the meetings and strived to learn something new each week that I could apply to my own circumstances.  At some point, I would start feeling guilty about the money it cost, and I would give up the meetings with every intention of continuing the plan on my own.  I never made it past two weeks before I was back to the bad habits and the weight was creeping back on.

It's been five weeks since I started this journey doing my own food plan.  I feel like I've been liberated!  I'm not counting points or calories.  I'm not weighing or measuring anything.  I'm losing weight on my own!  I'm making healthy choices, being mindful of what I eat, when I eat it and how much I eat.  I haven't deprived myself of anything, and I haven't binged at all.  All of these things add up to a HUGE accomplishment for me.    For the first time ever, I feel in control.  I also feel like what I'm doing is doable for life.

This past week was difficult.  I'm barely sleeping due to not being able to use my Cpap machine.  I'm extremely fatigued and lethargic.  I realized I was mindlessly snacking and not focusing on fixing breakfast or lunch.  In other words, going back to the old habits.  Once I realized what I was doing, and more importantly, WHY I was doing it, I was able to refocus and get back on track.  I think it's so much easier to change behavior once you understand why you're behaving a certain way.

This week I lost 2 pounds for a total of 6!  I'm very happy with my progress so far!

Have a wonderful weekend!

xo Annette xo

Loving Yourself

This is the day set aside each year to tell those we love that we actually love them.  Personally, I think we should be letting them know this every day, but that's just my humble opinion.  I feel truly blessed to know that those close to me love me and they know I love them.  I hope it is the same for you.

We know who we love and who loves us, but do you love yourself?  I think some people can say yes without even thinking about it.  I'm not one of those people.  I had to think about it and realized that the answer is no, I don't think I do.  If I loved myself, I wouldn't be as unhappy as I am with myself and my life right now.  I wouldn't be in this place of self doubt, obesity, and loneliness.  I wouldn't be so afraid to put myself out there and make new friends, or to even just believe in myself.  

I didn't used to be this way.  I explained here on my other blog how I came to be in this place.  Before moving here, I had friends and a life.  I was happy.  I loved myself.

Thank goodness I've already started working on changes that will bring the self love back.  In fact I must love myself at least a little bit to have even taken the first steps towards transformation.

As you make sure the important people in your life know you love them today, take the time to do something special for yourself too.  You are just as important as they are!

Have a very wonderful Thursday!

xo Annette xo

Getting Started

Hi and welcome to my new blog about my journey to health and wellness.  I started blogging about this subject on my other blog, So Many Memories, and decided I really need a dedicated space for all the things I want to talk about.  I hope that by sharing this journey with you, we can encourage and support each other, and learn new ways to deal with some of life's everyday struggles.

The issues I struggle with on a daily basis includes weight, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and sleep apnea.  My weight is the biggest issue and is the root cause for the other problems.  I need to lose about 120 pounds...a little overwhelming to say the least.  I also struggle with loneliness and depression.

I decided that this is the year that I work on me.  My mind, body and soul all need healing of one sort or another.  My word for the year is transformation.  That's what this journey is about.  Transforming myself inside and out, to be the best woman, wife, mom, and grandma that I can be.  I don't expect it to be easy.  I don't expect it to be quick.  What I do expect is that there will be numerous ups and downs, a lot of tears, and many challenges.  I also expect progress in the midst of it all.

Thank you for your company on this journey!

What struggles would you like to overcome?

Have a great day!

xo Annette xo